Strange thing
by faggoos1994
Summary: Bellatrix accidentally apparates to Wonderland and "crashes" The Mad Hatters Tea Party
1. Chapter 1

**I just got an idea of doing this, because I wanted to try something different. Hehe.  
It's not great, but I hope you'll enjoy it. **

**Strange thing**

_Bellatrix &T he Mad Hatter_

One good afternoon i was just drinking my tea, when suddenly some strange woman appeared out of the thin air. "'ello there... like some tea?'' I asked, she really looked like she wanted, or better yet, needed some tea to calm her nerves, because when she answered me she almost yelled, which I think I did certainly not deserved.

''Who are you and where am I?'' The strange woman asked, in as I said, a very loud voice.

''Your in Wonderland dear! The wickedest place on earth. Some say it isn't even on earth'' I smiled all around like the Chesire cat, but the march hare took up his spoon and pointed at the woman. "'ey, you! Come and 'ave a tea with us, we would be glad to 'ave yah!''  
The woman looked puzzled and confused by it all. She was all in black and her hair was all messy like mine is right now, but not orange. She was black haired and some few gray hair, she must have been old!

The woman didn't introduce herself, but kept yelling at us. ''Who are you!''

''Mah self is the Mad Hatter..'' as a polite man I stood up and took off my hand, bowing to the lady of course. ''this is the march hare, and this is a door mouse'' the name of Mally didn't come to me at that moment. ''now who are you?'' the wide smile didn't leave my face for a second. It was nice to have some other then the usual guests at my tea party, but this woman didn't seem that comfortable or that nice at all.

''It isn't any of your business muggle!'' that word 'muggle' I had never head of, it seemed like a blaber to me but it seemed like something to her.

''Muggle? Wha' is that thing?'' I asked again politely, but the woman didn't answer. I thought she was rather rude not to introduce herself or explain her way of talk. We all did the right thing, introduce us, invite her to the party, but she did neither.

''Just show me the way out of here, my wand broke and I don't like scums like you''

''Scums? We are no scums Mrs Smith.. we are the mad hatter, march hare and Mally the door mouse!'' I said chuckling a little at her stupidity, we had introduced our self before but she clearly didn't remember, what a stupid young lady.

''Don't call me Mrs Smith you filth.. show me the way out of this dump!''

''I will show you the way out, if you tell us your name.'' I don't like when I talk to people who I don't know their first name. I find it rude and annoying actually.

''Bellatrix... Bellatrix Lestrange'' She spat as it was difficult for her to say it.

''Well Bella, now that we know each other a little bit better, why don't you come and 'ave a tea with us? It's a lovely tea, quite tasty and savory as well!'' I thought I was only nice to offer her something to drink before she went back to her mysterious world.

''Tea? I won't have any tea! Tell me the way out of here!'' the woman screamed again me. She must have a bit temper that lady. Always screaming and to tell you the complete truth, her breath was awful. Like she hadn't brushed her teeth in 14 years! I wondered how they kept its place in her mouth. Always licking her lips and clenching her jaws as the march hare and Mally were shouting about how much sugar she wanted in her tea. ''I don't want any tea! I don't want any tea!'' she kept screaming at them to make them hold their tongues probably.

But I demanded her to have at least one cup, but when I suggested it she drew out some weird branch, and pointed it to me. I had no idea what it was. It was just a well polished stick. But then she started to threaten me, saying she would make me feel some pain I had never felt before. ''And how are you going to do that? Put that stick in my eye? Or me nose?'' I asked, just to be sure. Better be sure then have a surprise thrown at yah.

''I will cast a curse on you if you don't stop mumbling about tea and show me the way out of this bloody place!'' and as before she was screaming. ''Just one cup.. it can't hurt you..''

I saw it on her face she was loosing her patient. She rushed to me, and grabbed my beautiful bow that was around my neck and pulled it to her. I was only inches away from her face and her breath in my nose.. it was horrid, A smell I had never felt before.

''I dont want a bloody tea!'' To be honest I was a little scared. But the look on her face made me laugh. Its good for everyone to have a good laugh, but it looked like she hadn't laughed in years, but boy was I mistaken! When Mally offered her sugar Bellatrix begun to laugh and leaned over the table. ''just a little rat are you'' I didn't think it was nice of her to call Mally a rat. A rat! Those are big but my dear Mally is tiny and white, but then I had the strangest enlightenment.

That strange woman would be probably happy to meet the red queen. It seemed they were almost the same personality, and same look of life. Though I didn't want to escort her to the queen, I send Mally with her. Mally knew the way to the castle. She worked there, or was always sneaking around, without the Red Queen knowing.

But unfortunately I couldn't ask Mally to go with her, Bellatrix had begun screaming at the march hare to give her back her stick, or what she called it. Her wand.

Then it hit me all in a sudden, like a fly hits a window, or the Queen to hit the mole.. this girl, this strange woman clothed in black, was a witch.

**Please R&R and tell me what you think**


	2. Chapter 2

The red queen palace. It was horrible, but not as horrible as the impatient, messy haired, moody witch. I took her to the Red Queen. I wondered if the two of them would actually hit it off.

''For the last bloody time,where are you taking me?'' The witch called Bellatrix asked us as we were on our way to the palace.

''To the Red Queen 'course. She will like yo' I'm sure'' I couldn't help but to smile. I sometimes think I am too gorgeous and good looking when I wear my hat, but the hat is my identity. Something I must wear at all times.

''The Red Queen?'' The witch copied after me and glared at me, her stick so called wand hanging in her hand still.

''yeeees, The Red Queen will probably welcome yo' with open arms''

We were so close to the palace i could feel the stink from it. I didn't know if she was properly dressed to meet the queen or not, but we just have to see about that.

Bellatrix was impatient and wanted to go away from that place, but I wondered why she couldn't go the same way she came from. Just out of the thin air and nothing else.

As we were at the front door, the guards pushed it open seeing the Queen on her throne with her feet upon a pig belly. Something she did when her feet ached.

''What are they doing here?'' The queen screamed as we all walked to her. Me, the witch and Mally. Mally sometimes worked for the Red Queen so she wouldn't be squashed into nothing but a pancake.

''Your majesty...they are here to...'' ''Who is she?'' The Queen interrupted the codfish who was wearing a red suit, pointing to the witch beside me with her golden stick.

''Who am I? Who are you?'' the witch asked walking towards the Queen.

''Why I never...'' the queen said standing up and kicking the pig away. ''I am the Queen! The Queen of the whole land!''

''I see you are a royal pain'' the witch muttered which made me giggle like school girl.

''your Majesty, tis woman, tis witch came to our tea party but refused a cup!'' I shook my head violently and stared at the queen's giant head. ''we wanted to know if yah know who i'is?'' both of my eyebrows raised up high as i waited for the queen's respond.

''Why would i know someone was awfully dressed and messy hair like you have'' the queen replied glaring toward me. My hair was fuzzy! Not messy!

''Where can i get out of this bloody place and to my manor!'' the witch pointed her stick to the queen, which the queen did not like.

''How dare you come to my kingdom and threaten me with that... with that...'' the queen paused and tilted her head before turning to Stayne. ''What is that, that she is holding? A wooden stick?''

Ilosivic Stayne, the red queen's right hand man shrugged his shoulders and walked down the few steps that the throne was upon and took a better look at her stick.

''Tis a wand your majesty! Magic wand!'' I said. My voice getting a bit higher.

''A wand? Magic wand? Can she do magic tricks with it?'' the queen asked but now I shrugged my shoulders.

''Both of you shut up!'' the witch screamed and it hurt my ears she screamed so loud. ''Show me the way out of this bloody place or I will show you how it works!'' the witch was loosing her temper for sure. We didn't need an expert to see that.

The queen's eyes widened as she sat back down. ''Why leave this place?''

''Because I need my firewhiskey to calm down!''

The queen snapped her fingers and yelled at a frog wearing the same kind of suit as the codfish and yelled ''get her a firewhiskey!''

It was clear that the queen kind of liked that witch because she never pleased anyone else but herself. Or maybe she was afraid. I will never know.

Soon the frog came in with a glass full of whiskey but it was set on fire. The witch rose her eyebrow high as she saw it then looked at the queen. ''What kind of an idiot do you take me for?'' clearly it wasn't the right kind of 'firewhiskey' as the witch was talking about.

''You don't set the whiskey on fire it is a special sort of whiskey that magical creatures drink'' we all could sense the coldness in her voice.

''your majesty...'' mah self interrupted. ''why no' show her the way ou'... the lass clearly does no' wanna be here in Wonderland!''

The witch finally shut up and crossed her arms and sent the queen a deadly stare.

''well.. um..No! She will stay here! Witch or not. I want her to stay here as my entertainment!'' the queen said raising her chin up and looked at the witch then to me. ''surely that isn't a problem Hatter?''

''no your majesty, course no'...''

At that moment the witch. Exploded... her wand was pointed in every direction and all kinds of colors flew out of the end as she flicked it repeatedly. I must admit. I was scared to my very core.


End file.
